An In-Depth Questionnaire Assessing the Personality Characteristics of Either Gender**

1. What is your birthday?

2. How do you feel about tomatoes?

3. Morning person or night person or just person?

4. Country or City or Private Island?

5. How many of you are there?

6. Is there a god, with a big "G?"

7. How many centimeters in an pound?

8. Sweet or Sour?

9. Have you ever been in love?

10. When would you scr........


** This profile provided courtesy of Cranston Snord's little known treatise, "Fred's Complete Guide to Psychoanalysis." Apparently Herr Señor Snord, called "Windy" by his closest enemies, suffered from short term memory loss and while constructing this questionnaire, was suddenly struck by the need to can some berries. He then submitted his creation to a small, and now defunct, publishing company specializing in one-page scientific inquiries. Much to Cranston's surprise, his writings were published but only in Africa in the 'click' dialect. This recently discovered handbook is now being applied by the most sophisticated psychologists, psychiatrists, and Miss Cleo, as a valuable adjunct in their professions.

Additionally, an oft misquoted appendix which does not appear in Mrs. Snord's book is the Gorge of Eternal Peril's Bridge Keeper's three question riddle to questers. The original questions in the appendix have been lost to the scientific community due to Cranston's fetish for things no longer than a page. Perhaps the mythical appendix was meant as a completely distinct and separate half-page publication.....We may never know.


Cheerfully submitted by the "Committee for Extended Rights for Axe Handles"